the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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