I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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