also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My dick has a subreddit
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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