I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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