that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
