yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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