let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
