I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
