it wasn't lemon gatorade
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
