Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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