WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize