If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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