scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
