Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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