So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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