Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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