well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I can't turn off my feet"
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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