It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
