Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
