Already got asked if we're dating
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
