Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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