I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
