every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
