If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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