Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
