I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize