So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
