shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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