oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
