I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
