He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
