Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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