i was born a porn star she said
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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