She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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