I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize