Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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