All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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