Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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