Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
