Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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