I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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