She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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