marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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