I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
