Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
