it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
