I wish I could punch you in the face.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
