So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
