We're facebook friends in real life
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
