a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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