this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Randomize
