i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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