I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
