sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The air was thick with penises
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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