well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize