For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
