He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
