we have officially lost it.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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