I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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