just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
