I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
