so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
