stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
