I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
