yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
