It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
