Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
