Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Randomize
