You really coming over, don't trick.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
