You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
