I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
