At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
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