i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
