Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
